This blog was started as a way to work through the grief of losing my baby March 9, 2011. I found reading stories of other women comforting while I've been going through this and hope that I can help anyone else experiencing the same thing.

Friday, February 10, 2012


I feel like I've had some victories over the last day. I finally ended up talking to the doctor's office again and they were amazing! They listened to me and took me seriously! SO....I'm now on progesterone once a day until 10 weeks. I also had my first Beta HCG draw yesterday and another one scheduled for Saturday. I'm so excited they are willing to do that for me. I would rather know right away that the numbers aren't looking great than wait 2 weeks. I think I can handle that much better. I mean I realize that things can still go wrong, but it's one more thing to give me peace of mind you know? And peace of mind is the ONE thing I need right now. If taking progesterone and getting HCG draws can give me that then why not? Our last doctor would have just been like "We'll just have to see what happens" this doctor is clearly a little more proactive and I'm thrilled. I wasn't sure if I was going to stick with her, but after just one phone call now I'm sure!

So I went to bed at 7:30 last night. Yeah. I'm already that tired. I told J that even if I hadn't taken a test I would have known by now. That is abnormally tired for me when I'm not depressed or having a bad day. I was just so tired. So, I'm excited to make it to Monday which will officially be 4 weeks and then the waiting begins :)! I'm going to try to appreciate and enjoy every moment because no matter what happens this baby deserves that. They deserve to be loved for however many moments they exist. Whether that's 6 weeks in my womb or 100 years on earth they deserve everything I can give them! (at least that's what I'm telling myself!)

Okay no more squinting or pretending you see a line! Check this out! (promise I won't force you to look at my Pee Stick obsession any longer!)

Thursday, February 9, 2012

Tweaked Test

A test tweaker on Baby Center made this little picture for me :)! Love it!! If you actually click on it the pink line is visible on the FRER.


Okay so here's a picture of the tests I took this morning. It's hard because the lines don't really show up as well in pictures, but I swear they are there in person :)! Now I get to go from stressed about trying to get pregnant to stressed I am pregnant. Awesome. If only I could just relax and take it easy. How about this...I already called the doctor. Yep I'm that girl. I asked about a prenatal prescription, progesterone and a beta HCG. The progesterone isn't totally out of the blue, the new doctor I saw a few months ago mentioned she might put me on it if I were to get pregnant just as a precaution. So yea. I'm the crazy girl that called the doctor at 9DPO.

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Third Time's a Charm????

Okay so the quality of a cell phone pic is bad I know. But I totally see a line. 9DPO. I'll post another one tomorrow and hopefully it's darker (or maybe I'll splurge on a digital)!