This blog was started as a way to work through the grief of losing my baby March 9, 2011. I found reading stories of other women comforting while I've been going through this and hope that I can help anyone else experiencing the same thing.

Wednesday, November 16, 2011


Well Another positive OPK. This isn't looking good. CD 15 is the latest O has occurred according to my fertility friend cycle statistics. So if it doesn't happen today then I'm really off in terms of when I ovulate and my luteal phase. My temp was 97.9 today and 97.6 yesterday so not even enough of a jump to assume that O occurred yesterday. So hopefully today is O day and tomorrow is 1DPO with a clear temp rise. I hate to say this, but I'm tired of feeling forced to BD you know? So I guess we should probably BD again tonight and probably tomorrow just to make sure. I was hoping we were off the hook after last night. Although this all may be in vain anyway because 4 days of OPK is not a great sign. I checked a few sites and it sounds like your body prepares to O and then something happens and it doesn't so it just keeps trying. Out of the months I've been using OPK (maybe 6 months?) I've never had this happen before. I usually get one or two clear positives and then a negative. Oh well nothing I can do except keep BDing.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

oh and.....

Oops. I have more to say today! So I just wanted to say that next time I post I would like to write a letter to Bear. My counselor suggested talking/writing to him and seeing how it feels. I'm not going to do it today, but I'll save it for a time I feel more able to be emotionally vulnerable!


Well it's November. One year into my TTC journey. Two pregnancies and two losses later I want a baby more than ever. Technically at this point it's been 7 months of actively trying to conceive and about 5 months of actually being pregnant. It SUCKS. So let's all cross our fingers and hope this is the month! Here is this month's + OPK. I'm a bit concerned because everything I've read says one to two days of + are good any more can signal a problem. This is my third day of +OPK. Today is the darkest, but the others were dark too. It's hard to tell in the picture, but it is a +. The other two days of + were just about the same color as the control line while today's was a bit darker. So maybe today's OPK was the true positive? Who knows. Lots and lots of BD this month so at least the chances are just as good as any other month. Here is a link to my chart in case you like to chart stalk: My Ovulation Chart