This blog was started as a way to work through the grief of losing my baby March 9, 2011. I found reading stories of other women comforting while I've been going through this and hope that I can help anyone else experiencing the same thing.

Monday, April 16, 2012

13 Weeks!

Last week we had our NT scan at 12 weeks 2 days. It went well. I really liked the doctor doing the scan and was very confident in him. He was compassionate, caring and kind. More than I could ask for in a doctor. He spent a ton of time with us because the baby wasn't in a good position to get the measurements. He ultimately came up with an NT measurement of 1 (which is great) and was never able to see the face well enough to find a nasal bone. He did check something with the heart that he said looks great. He said usually babies with T21 have some sort of wave form issue in the heart. So he checked it out and said it looked good.

Today I get the results of the blood test combined with the NT scan. I'm a little nervous, mostly becuase with Bear that's how we knew something was wrong. I never got the NT scan with him, just blood work.

The doctor told us several times that everything looked good and he didn't see anything to worry about. He urged me to stick with screening tests rather than diagnostic if I could handle not knowing for sure. He said that the NT, blood screens and 20 week scan should really give us a good picture of anything that might be wrong.

Even if something is wrong J and I had a coversation that no matter what happens we are committed to this baby. I admit we had thoughts of terminating for medical reasons in the past, but after what happened with Bear we both know we couldn't go through with it. I loved Bear. Even though he had an extra chromosome, I still loved him. I would have carried him another 19 weeks if I could have just to let him know how much I cared. So we will do whatever is needed and raise whatever baby the universe has given us. I feel pretty at peace with this decision and happy that we made it together. I think J has a bit more stress and anxiety over it, as he is a teacher and deals with special needs all day. I get that, but I'm glad he knows that I couldn't live with myself if we terminated. I think back to what happened with Bear and how depressed I was. Imagine if I'm the one that made the decision to end my baby's life, rather than fate. I just think the depression would have been a thousand times worse. I seriously may not have survived it. I do get why people make those decisions though and don't judge anyone else for making it. For me this is the right decision.

Hopefully it won't matter. I hope we will get our totally normal, totally genetically fine baby at 40 weeks in October!

I did find out why I was bleeding at 9 weeks though. Apparently I have placenta previa. A condition where the placenta is covering the cervix. Any trauma can cause bleeding and can be potentially harmful to both me and the baby. So no "intercourse" (as the doctor calls it), and no pelvic exams until we get our week 20 exam to see if it's taken care of itself. I guess it usually fixes itself and goes away, but sometimes it stays over the cervix. If that happens I'll need a C section and there are some risks of bleeding and needing a transfusion. I hope it will just right itself and leave no need to worry!

20 week ultrasound is scheduled for June 4th. It seems far away, and not that far away both at the same time!!

1 comment:

  1. Been checking often... glad to read good things (Aside from the previa... but hoping that will resolve itself.)

    It's impossible to stop "holding your breath," but I promise it gets easier to breath.