This blog was started as a way to work through the grief of losing my baby March 9, 2011. I found reading stories of other women comforting while I've been going through this and hope that I can help anyone else experiencing the same thing.

Monday, December 5, 2011


I hate those stark white pee sticks with only one pink line. I HATE THEM. I felt like we did everything right this month. Lots of BD on the right days and still a BFN. I just want to be pregnant. I'm really starting to get down about this as people that had a loss around the same time I did are now pregnant and almost due. It just seems so unfair. Or people are pregnant with babies that would be about as far along as I would have been with my second loss. It all just sucks. So anyway I'm CD7 now. I saw a new OB/GYN last week. She basically told me to relax. She said she would start testing for infertility if I wanted and do all of the testing you have to do before going to an RE, but I knew it probably wasn't the right thing quite yet. I'm clearly NOT infertile as I've been pregnant twice in the last year. So I guess I'll take her advice and try to relax. It's so much easier said than done. She even suggested I throw away the thermometer and just use OPKs instead. She said she thinks temping can cause more stress than it helps. Have I thrown my thermometer away? Of course not. I'm trying to control an impossible situation and do not want to give up even one piece of control that I might have. Relax? Yeah right.....


  1. :( I'm so sorry that you got a bfn this cycle. It is really hard to relax when TTC. Please don't get discouraged, though. I'm still thinking about you and praying for you.

  2. I let my RE do the HSG even though we knew I am not infertile, just to be sure that there wasn't something strange going on in my tubes that caused miscarriage or inability to get pregnant.
    Though you have the ability to get pregnant, something could be preventing it from incubating properly. I'm the "better safe than sorry" boat. I liked knowing that I'd done everything possible to be sure that nothing was "wrong" with me.