This blog was started as a way to work through the grief of losing my baby March 9, 2011. I found reading stories of other women comforting while I've been going through this and hope that I can help anyone else experiencing the same thing.

Wednesday, May 11, 2011


Ahhh...crisis averted. I can breathe a sigh of relief now. I talked to the doctor directly. She called me 3 times. She called twice on my cell and left 2 messages. I'm currently having a charger issue so my phone was almost dead and I had it on silent so I didn't get those calls and it went to voicemail. I did listen to the messages though. Both messages were very reassuring and said she hoped we could connect at some point today. She did ask for an alternate number. So I called her office and left a message with my work phone number. She called me back within about 1/2 hour. She reassured me that she was 100% positive there was no IUD inserted and that it was a billing error. She asked how I was doing and really listened to my answer. I asked her a question about Bear too. I wanted to know if the T21 was full or a translocation since I hadn't really asked much about it when I originally found out. Turns out it was a full T21 and if it had been a translocation she assured me they would have had J and I in for testing.

So I'm feeling much better about all of that. So....time to make babies LOL. I'm definitely going the anal retentive route this time with the baby making. The whole charting, temping nonsense. I really feel like I want to be fully prepared for anything. Sure it might happen on month 1. Highly unlikely, but it could happen. But if it doesn't happen quickly I want all the data I can get to take to a doctor. I'm ready for a healthy full term baby. I know it is in my grasp. It doesn't take away from Bear at all. I loved him with all my heart and will always love him. I deserve to have a healthy happy baby just as much as anyone else. I've really been struggling with this. I torture myself with all the reasons that the universe might not be giving me a baby when Octomom gets like 100 of them. But I know it's just purely random. No sense or reason or whatever. I just don't believe that. I was a random victim of chance and hopefully this time I'll be a random victim for good. Come on baby dust :)!

Oh...if you are into the TTC thing you can stalk my chart here:

My Ovulation Chart

**(this might be a little TMI for those of you who read this who actually know me LOL...but us crazy TTC people share this info freely in the hopes of sharing knowledge and advice):

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