This blog was started as a way to work through the grief of losing my baby March 9, 2011. I found reading stories of other women comforting while I've been going through this and hope that I can help anyone else experiencing the same thing.

Tuesday, May 10, 2011


Ahh...I've had a couple of days lately that would have challenged the most stable person. Mother's Day, an issue with billing from the hospital and some issues at work. But, I'm surviving and doing okay.

First, Mother's Day. It's definitely not a great day when you were expecting to be really large and pregnant and excited on Mother's Day and you aren't. It sucked. But honestly, I just kind of ignored it. My husband didn't really do much for me, he had good intentions, but didn't really follow through. He did take me to Dunkin Donuts for breakfast which was nice. That's pretty much the only acknowledgement I got from him anyway. I did get a few texts/calls/comments from people who knew I might be upset on that day, but most people just kind of ignored that I might be feeling anything. My mom didn't even say anything. I wished her a Happy Mother's Day and quickly got off the phone when I realized she wasn't going to acknowledge my pain. My husband's mom also didn't really acknowledge. We ended up running into them in a Lowe's and I said Happy Mother's Day to you and she started to say "you too" but cut herself off. That hurt my feelings a bit. Oh well. What are you going to do? Just move on and deal.

Next up, issue with my hospital bill. This issue is so unbelievable. I received my bill and read over it. There were three sections for the three different visits. It said I owed $220.00. I tried to figure out why. Well on the last line of the bill it says "Insert Intrauterine Device". I read that and then sat down and tried to figure it out. Now I know that an Intrauterine Device is an IUD right? I wondered if it also might be some medical term for something they did during my D & E. So it was Friday afternoon that we received the bill and we couldn't really do much about it. I called the billing department first thing Monday morning and asked them what that meant. The person said "well I think it means insert an IUD" I said "well that's gonna be a big problem for everyone if an IUD was inserted". So he says I need to call the doctor directly. When I call them the receptionist was also quite useless. She said the same thing, that it meant they inserted an IUD. She said "sometimes when they do terminations they insert an IUD." I about flipped out on her. Termination? Grrr....I realize they do terminations there of unwanted pregnancies, but my situation was in no way a termination. It was a removal of my much wanted dead baby from my uterus.

Okay, anyway, she said she would have the nurse review my file to see if an IUD was inserted and that I should call the billing department. Ummm...duh...I already called the billing department and they said to call the doctor's office. So yeah, that's what I've been dealing with. I'm trying to get pregnant and have no idea if I might have an IUD inserted. I have no idea if you would know or not if you had one. I did read that they have some strings that hang down that would be noticeable during ummm...yeah you know. So far we haven't noticed anything like that. Also I did have a 2 week follow up after my D & E with my regular OB/GYN and it seems like he would have mentioned something about an IUD if he had noticed I had one. Right?

So there are several issues here. Did they insert an IUD during my D & E? If so I'm suing. Seriously. They are going down. Yeah. I'm not a big fan of the American litigious society, but this is unacceptable. I seriously will sue them. So maybe they didn't insert an IUD. That's great. BUT, they obviously messed up my billing and are now messing with my head LOL. And it's now Tuesday morning and I still haven't heard back from them. I'm tempted to make an appointment with my regular physician for a quick look to see if they can tell if I have an IUD in or not. But I think I'll just wait. At this point what difference does it make? This week would be my O week for TTC and if I have one in I'm screwed for this month and if I don't we are covering our bases for it. So whatever. I am angry and I am upset, but there isn't much I can do about it.

Well, I guess I'll update when I get more news about it.

Oh and how about this?

I received the news yesterday that Alicia Silverstone named her baby Bear. Can you believe it? weird. I decided that of all the people that might name their baby Bear, she is the one I can handle. So it's a good thing right? She's a cool, hip, vegetarian with baby named Bear. Hmmm...similarities? I think so :-)!

*I can't figure out how to get a link to post as a link...I tried using the little link button on the blogger, but it didn't work. in progress I guess.

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