Originally when I started this blog it was almost like I had to get the thoughts out and write them down. It was kind of an obsessive thing. I would get something stuck in my mind and I wouldn't be able to calm down about it until I wrote it down.
Now, on the otherhand, it seems a little different. I keep thinking I want to write what's going on, but then I just don't. I think it sort of ties into my last post about motivation. I am all out of it. Just totally lethargic and unmotivated. Not good.
So I'm in my 2WW (two week wait)for the TTC (trying to conceive). It would be super awesome and lucky if I got pregnant this month, but highly unlikely. I'm going to take a test mid to late next week to see. The waiting seems like it lasts forever. I can't imagine having to deal with this every month for the next couple of months.
I can't believe I'm even TTC again. It seems so soon after Bear. Neither J nor I are healed from losing Bear yet. We just don't want to waste time.
We waited until just about a year to try and conceive after losing Max through an ectopic pregnancy even though we ended up losing another pregnancy on the same day we lost Max some how I knew it would be okay. Take one day at a time and if you feel your ready then try. I knew that if I wasn't caught off guard by my current pregnancy then I wouldn't consciously TTC again, my heart after losing two was simply changed.
ReplyDelete